he will never fail

When We Fail 

There have been seasons of my life where I – more than other seasons – realize the extent of my failures. I can see so tangibly every good quality I prided myself disappear.

I began to realize the good things I wanted to achieve or the good things I thought I was were not who I was at the core, but actually, I was the absence of them all.

As depressing as that sounds — and un-motivational and un-encouraging and anti-positive — I realized it’s true. I really have NOTHING to bring to the table.

I’ve seen my best qualities crumble and all the things I held in my hand to show God as reasons He could use with me, all of sudden became qualities that seemed so far from me. Qualities that I suddenly acted the OPPOSITE of. They were not mine anymore.

Even in my attempts to be those things, I found MY pride swoop in and scoop them away.

After years of priding myself on what I could bring to God, I realized I had nothing to bring of my own. It became very clear that those things that for years very much seemed MINE were absolutely not.

All of those qualities were things that God had placed in me. They were HIS qualities in me.

I had nothing on my own.

But the Lord called me anyway.

“And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go…; Do not I send you?’

And he said to Him, ‘Please, Lord, how can I… I am the least.’

And the Lord said to him, ‘But I will be with you.’”

Judges 6:14-16

Despite Gideon seeing himself as the least, the Lord sent him. Not because Gideon was great. That isn’t the comfort God gives him, but rather He says, “but I will be with you.”

All the good things I used to think about my character, which existed and were there and I’m glad for, I realized were never really MINE to begin with, because every now and again – or rather every day – a nasty part of humanity escapes from inside of me. All of those qualities I took pride in were never mine at my core but rather His inside me.

I am the least, but He will be with me.

So, friend, if you’ve ever been in these stages where this reality hits you, if you’re in it now or WHEN you will be,

Here’s to remembering that every good thing inside and out is from above. And for those of so easily discouraged by our faults, here’s to remembering that every failure I’ve experienced, I can know the Lord doesn’t look at me that way, as something hopeless, so neither will I. I’ll just fall at his feet and move forward — 100% in His strength because I’ve learned that my own strength fails. It allows me to fall into sadness and worry and frustration.

When I try my hardest, even then, I fail myself,

but He never will.

XO,

Meg